Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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