i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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