let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
