Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
