And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize