He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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