This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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