I showed him my bush... on skype.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
