I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
