Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You made out with two different species that night
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize