the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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