Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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