Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
