At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
