I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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