Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
