Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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