I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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