he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize