They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
