So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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