just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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