so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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