so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize