Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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