Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
