they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
