My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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