I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
