I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
