remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
