I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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