every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize