Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize