dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
