I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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