I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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