What did we do last night that was yellow?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
