new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It was a blind-side dick pic.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
