I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
