1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
