I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
