Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
