Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
