does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
