And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
