Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
All I want is dick and wine.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
