All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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