That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize