Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
