I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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