Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
