everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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