he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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