I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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