Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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