Need sex. Gaining weight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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